Changes.
An Unravelling 2019
Honey and salt.
We all need a bit of both.
Sweet and savoury,
A balanced life.
All work and no play
Jack Sprat and his wife.
Honey and salt.
We all need a bit of both.
Many anticipate the week end.
“…nearly the weekend!”
Have a treat on a Friday…“Go on treat yourself love. “
“Go ahead, take one”
Honey and salt.
We all need a bit of both.
“A little bit of what you fancy does you good.”
So simple, “it’s a piece of cake!”
I am not sure where I fit into that currently.
It’s complicated.
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We are part of a fabric, a single structure, life’s weave if you will where a mutual trust and a strong thread is needed, a shared strength where we support and in turn are supported, restoring and healing, holding the pieces, maintaining the whole.
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My original thoughts were about balance, about warp and weft, practicality and decoration, securing and unravelling, and of things that tell a story, weave a tale.
What I draw and paint usually tells part of my own story. This time it took a while to make sense. Was it a coincidence?
Warp and weft. Balance.
Order within the chaos and chaos within the order.
Sometimes just the chaos and the wearing thin.
Much of the time I am worn so thin, am so unravelled that I can’t draw cant paint
I grasp a lucid moment only to feel it fall apart within minutes, coming apart like rotted cotton.
The more I look for the balance I originally saw, the less I find.
So I am now going to concentrate on the chaos and hope it starts to redress the balance that I need.
I now know that the story is indeed my own.
Small comforts 2019-20
Pink plump,
Blousy like fancies.
It’s just confection
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This has been a constant phrase and theme in my work and refers to the fact that wellness is judged by weight and pallor rather than state of mind.
Recovering from an eating disorder is complex and ongoing. The problem is in my head. A layer of fat over my bones is largely cosmetic, frills and icing.
I soon realised that people worried less if I wore a bit of pink blusher. It may give the illusion of wellness but does not alter my disordered thinking.
Om mani padme hum
Fat ribs 2020-21
"Rock of ages cleft for me"
The white coat and a new start.
I have been working with items that for me, represent security and reassurance for some time now.
These may be handmade buttons, labels, blankets and quilts, often with messages. The idea originally came from children’s comfort items, of fabrics and blankets, items which are soft, weighty, warm and reassuring, having a certain familiar feel or smell.
The often-quilted nature of them also gives a solid stable feel
The first white coat is largely about identity, about finding out who I am now, and indeed who I was before the onset of my current mental health issues
The plain, light-coloured material of the White coat is a nod to the work that I have done myself, to ease my issues and understand them more fully.
I am my own therapist most of the time.
The quilted pieces that cover the surface provide a reassuring comfort and weight to the coat when it is worn.
"She flies with her own wings"
The items drawn and the words are all thing that hold a certain memory or interest. They are personal to me and may well appear an eclectic mix to others. They might be items from my many collections or phrases that play on my mind, sometimes giving a voice to my feelings or providing reassurance in times of need.
The fabrics used are repurposed and represent resourcefulness and new beginnings. I often run on instinct and gut feeling. I use what I have to keep myself stable whilst I wait on a seemingly endless list.
"In the rifted rock I'm resting."
The materials are soft and worn, the colours muted to avoid snagging my senses.
The coat has been designed almost inside out, the outside of lining material and the main colour on the inside, semi concealed, but a reminder that the old me is not lost and I will come back to the surface in time.
Several coats have followed this one, and it had proved an important starting point for a change of direction.
"Sweeten the bitter,
season the plain."
Look to nature
"Balance in all things."